well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
