the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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