I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
is that a dick in a sweater?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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