so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
