You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize