Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
