This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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