and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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