Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
