About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
