you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
