how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
