We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize