i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just tell him i said nine months
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What drink are we having for lunch?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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