Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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