It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize