and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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