I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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