Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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