im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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