Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
