Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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