My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
