a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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