it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just pee around me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
