you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
