First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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