Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
