The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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