I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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