Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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