shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
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