I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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