If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
