You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
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Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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