god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
