I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
