Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
