i jhust puked up my retainher.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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