Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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