Why does Corona taste like a burp?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
