is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
