I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
