And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So apparently I’m into choking now
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