Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
