cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
