My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
