he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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