I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
