I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
