took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
