I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
