they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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