And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
