saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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