Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
