hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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