Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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