my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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