I think I died a long time ago.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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