you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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