So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
