thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
