If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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