i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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