I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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