Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
