I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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