i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize