ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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