so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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