Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
