No awkward lesbian experiences without me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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